My health isn't there,
It isn't a given.
I thought I had time,
This I didn't envision.
My wish list is dusty,
It sits in a pile.
It's not been forgotten,
It's just been a while.
Can't throw it out,
So it sits on the shelf.
Along with those things,
That made up myself.
So much off the cards,
The want I've still got.
The ability fades,
The longing does not.
The emotional toll,
It sits on my chest.
I want it to leave,
This unwelcome guest.
The physical is hard,
Don't misunderstand.
But it's not on it's own,
I know this firsthand.
I sit and I wonder,
What could have been.
Feel like I'm trapped,
With potential unseen.
It's not I'm ungrateful,
Believe me that's true.
Just can't help but think,
There's so much to do.
Things I would try,
And places to visit.
But my health won't allow,
It's limits explicit.
A version of me,
Lives in my head.
It feels more real,
Than the one in this bed.
My life doesn't match,
I don't get a say.
I hope one day that's different,
But it won't be today.
Today I will miss things,
The things on my list.
I'll honour those feelings,
As I sit and exist.
