Mind = Matter

Emotions and M.E are 100% linked. My body just can’t deal with any sort of emotion anymore. I would say “extreme emotion” but honestly it doesn’t even have to be that. I get a bit down in the dumps about something and suddenly my legs hurt. My physio tells me I have a problem with the fascia layer in my legs. It reacts to hormones (stress, fatigue etc) and contracts causing immense pain and some serious discomfort. Now that’s not to say that emotions are the only thing that cause me problems, or that’s the only thing that makes my legs hurt, etc etc. I don’t need anyone twisting this into “It’s all in your head” or “It must be psychological”. I’m just saying – it’s a factor, as it is in anything. And it’s annoying. What really gets me though is being physically punished for enjoying myself. I can understand stress, but joy? That’s the kicker.

When I decided on this blogpost topic I knew the day we rekindled our love for the PlayStation had to mentioned here, because that was a whirlwind of emotions let me tell you. So I am of the generation that grew up playing the PS1 – Scooby Doo, Shrek and Crash Bandicoot were some of my favourites. Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone though, that was my jam. About a year ago my brother and I found said PS1 and Harry Potter game. Overjoyed. I got far too excited. The level where you’re in Quidditch practise, and you’ve got to fly through the hoops, is the particular level that caused my problems. It is impossible, how I ever used to get passed it is beyond me. I’m pretty sure in the end we roped Mum in to complete it for us. Five parenting points to you, Linda. Good job. Top notch. So anyways, it was intense. I got a flare, and had to go lie down in a dark room. A big ol’ dose of payback for playing a game made for children 8+. That is the reality of a life with M.E – a life where video games are a clear no go when you’re the most competitive person on earth. Far more recently I got roped into playing FIFA for the first time. Again I got far too excited every time I somehow managed to get the ball. I had to stop because I was starting to feel sick. Lesson apparently not learned.

Either way I will continue to have laughing fits on a regular basis, I’ll still continue to enjoy myself, and if we ever find that PlayStation again you can be sure I’ll give it another go. Because if anything is worth a flare up, it’s a good giggle (and getting past Filch in the Restricted Section).

#chronicpain #spoonie #mecfs #chronicillness #chronicfatigue #cfs #harrypotter #PEM